moody-ing

recently, dunno y always feel very tired
do watever also no energy like that...
feeling wan 2 die
ate too many liao... espeacially those stuff wif chocolate de
I HAD TOOK A LOT THEM
ahaha i'm gonna scold by shiling them coz they say i attempt them to eat those choco stuff XD
2day badminton gerko cancel again~ waliao
i enough pik cik after heard
y those stupid lecturer wont early inform us so that we wil not waste time n energy to climb up 2 dewan anjung there?
dont u think that 104 stairs wil make me sweat a lot?
N I GONNA EXAM SOON!! i dnt wan 2 waste my time on juz for the gerko
ishhhhhhhh.... so gik liao
mayb i will follow shiling go bukit padang soon
it will better for me
no nid pay for the contract n i can live better wif no any annoy at thr... hahahaha XD

super duper speechless

2day i think is the most unfortunate day for me in this few months


i very HATE this kind of feeling


haiz... no ppl wil understand me de







well... start from the afternoon me n big yai yai go to Mc D took our lunch


then. he accom me go to maybank at cp thr to withdraw money


but i cant take even 1sen from my account


ok fine... i thought is the bank problem


mayb is something like out of service or wat wat la


then i didnt think much at first


we continue walk to alliance bank that near the pasar de

then the result is "transaction rejected"

walao... ok

then we decide back to public bank that opposite warisan thr

a lot of ppl inside thr, so we juz waiting for our turn

then the same result make me disappoint again... haiz

now i start to get more worry liao

i feeling wan to cry

but i not dare to cry coz big yai yai must wil very worry me de

then he say we go to maybank at near karamunsing thr

we go thr by taxi, waste liao Rm10

so heartpain T.T

the result more make me shock

even cimb bank de atm card also cant use, even cant check for the account balance

WTF! This time i knw i must die liao

my wallet juz left for Rm5

how can i endure for this few months for juz Rm5?

i had walk to almost 10 banks 2day but i cant even get 1 sen=.=

God pls save me la

dnt play me liao, without $$$ at here i gonna die soon

then back hostel liao i thought i can relax my mind

then suddenly got a senior told me that my skirt that i wear during tanglung festival was too short

OMG la... i reli will die soon

haiz... i wan back to my hometown liao la

at here i reli wil kih siao de

9 October 2009

juz finish bath n washed clothes...

actualy i should be very tired de, coz i had ran my school field for 6 rounds= 2.4km. owhhhhhh

hmm... but i dunno y i juz feel a bit tired, not as i expect de~



this week quite many activities waiting for us to do, make me feel a bit exhausted

2moro nite that majlis penutupan, i still thinking whether wan 2 escape or not

n sunday that suck dunno wat wat hari raya penutupan, make me feel annoy only~

haiz... dunno wan kind of maktab is this, watever celebration nid 2 postpone or delay until very late baru celebrate again=.="



and and and... my plan nid 2 change liao

haiz... dunno should happy or sad

hmm nvm la~ save money is a good thing too.

not as that stupid lecturer TGH said we nid to finish our money in juz eat n enjoy

reli kih siao de



2moro got kelas ganti, start frm 8am.
2nite nid to study hard for my presentation liao
gambateh la~ must nt let mr chow disappoint

last day

well... today is the last day i stay at my hometown
means i gonna back to kk 2moro
after this holiday, i need to wait until end of november then can get my sem break
so i think i will feel extra EXHAUSTED in this two months
miss the soup n dishes cook by my mum
miss my bed, my plush toys~~

quite emo recently... juz like the weather at sdk here
sometimes sunny, sometimes rain
juz bcoz of one person
but in overall
actualy i'm not happy during this holiday
as i had said before
when the 2nd day i back to here

i dnt know why this holiday will make me so tired
and i start feeling many things dont know how to share wif ppl
talk to myself is a best way
or wat i feel wat i want to say out
i juz write at my blog
yea... my blog~ my lil space juz for me to express myself in a relax way
nobody wil stop me, or nobody will give me comment that i dont want to listen
i juz can be myself at HERE

now, i try to understand a ppl that i very care
sometimes, i reli cant get what is inside his mind
alth he always say i can get what he thought in juz a moment
but... until yday i juz realise
actualy i not very know about him

sometimes can be very mad
sometimes juz ordinary, nothing special
sometimes get angry very easy
i feel... very scare
worry
i dont know how to say
is juz... a feel that i never try before
with him, i always need to try my best to console him
standby his side, so that if he wan to fa xie
then he can direct come find me
haiz...
i dont know i can endure until when
actualy i will not call it as 'endure'
but juz mayb i wil take it as a process to let me know more about him
and get closer to him
try to get what is him thinking actualy
and i hope i can try my best to help him
maybe what he annoy and the sadness store in his heart are countless
i always think that my suffer are enough big for me to withstand
but he tell me that there are a lot of ppl at outside are suffering more than me
yea... i guess u'r right~
thanks for telling me that
so now i hav enough faith to stand up straight
to face the challenge n unknown wonders that coming for me


p/s: if u hav read this blog, pleasa smile for me. ^^

背叛，信任

今天早上起来的时候
感觉自己有好多话想对自己说
是的 对自己说
任何的人都不是你值得倾诉的对象
只有自己才是最了解自己的人

相信一个人是很容易的事情
当你带着一颗真心去结交另外一个朋友的时候
你也期待着他会以同样一颗真心去对待你
你相信他
信任他
你不曾带着任何一点怀疑
因为你相信
他就像你一样
可是现实往往都是那么残酷的
绵羊永远都不会知道
狼总戴着面具去接近它
也不晓得自己什么时候会有生命危险
就是那样傻傻的相信
披着面具的狼会像它家人那样对待它

我就是那支绵羊吧
天真的我
以为世界上真的会有好人
在我离开了家乡以后
来到陌生的地方
有人会对我伸出援手

哈哈 我真的是很天真
现在回想起你对我的好
我很想笑
但我也觉得很心寒
我曾告诉别人说
你是我遇过最好的学姐
帮我买面包，借我参考书，借我broadband, 教我做功课
原来一切都是假的
没多久之后你竟然告诉别人甚至是讲师
我和你借power point, 和其他过分的要求
哈哈哈哈哈
这是我听过最好笑的笑话了
笑死我了

我不知道我哪里得罪你了
你什么要这样陷害我
关于陌宏学长那件事
是我和他之间的事情
你为什么要把事情弄得那样复杂
把原本很小如芝麻的事
弄得沸沸扬扬
现在senior全都和我有瓜葛了
我也成了大家的眼中钉
你很开心吧?
这如果是你要的
恭喜你
你的愿望达成了

我要谢谢陌宏学长
虽然你不可能会看到我的blog
但是我还是在心里对你说声谢谢
因为你没有像他们那样做
还替我解围
谢谢你
还要我要向一位同学说声对不起
因为我误会你了
绣桦 真的很对不起

我现在真的松了一口气
我选择诚实地面对自己
我不想再逃避了
我要谢谢那些伤害过我的人
因为你们让我上了很宝贵的一课
我已经学着成长了

smile always

today, chat wif my dear, knw he is facing some problem wif his frens~
well... although i also going through the same problem, but,
dont knw why my heart is feeling more annoyed..
Is because he feel ANGRY n SAD just because of the case ma?
haiz... i always tell myself that become a human is not as easy task~
i had left my hometown n pursue my DREAM as a teacher at this maktab GAYA...
but... since there are many unexpected condition happened to me,
i had few times decided to quit in this career.
am i stupid? weak?
i, myself even dont know how 2 handle my problem.
like a ostrich, juz wil know run away from the reality n don wan 2 face it.
hahaha, funny right? as a teacher should knw face the problem n try 2 overcome it. but me? NO

i feel sorry to u, coz... myself even dont know how to solve my ownself problem
so, when u told me about the argument between u n ur frens,
what i can do is silent listen to u, n try 2 make u smile only~
i feel myself useless, then u told me that u dont wan me think that way
sorry... i juz.. very sorry
hope u can smile for me...
my heart wil happy juz bcoz of u happy
if u angry or sad, i wil follow too

days are getting harder n harder
stil left 4 days i will bak to kk again
happy or sad?
i don know
days for me to do scanning are getting shorter
i tell myself no nid to worry
but... after a moment then wil start panic bcoz of that
haiz~ hope myself wil reli nothing
i hope what the doctor told me that day was juz a dream
after woke up, then everything is fine
GOD BLESS ME

21 September 2009

hmm... today is the 3rd day i stay at my home~
feeling very boring n lonely aithough wif my family...
dnt knw y wil got tis kind of feel, before i back to sdk here i hope can faster back here de.
but... after i reli back here liao, then my feel lain pula~
i seems more miss the days at kk there. haiz~ me so mao dun la=.=

miss shiling them very much...
espeacially big yai yai^^
this kind of missing feel, long time no appear in my heart
big yai yai, i wan tell u that i very very miss u de.
juz sometimes myself oso dnt knw how 2 express my feeling
tell u hor, me at sdk here oso everyday countdown to meet u~
today is 21 sept, so, we stil got 6 days then can meet again
dnt knw how is the feel when u first sight see me at airport? hehe

today u went to labuan liao, hope u wil enjoy ur trip at there.
must always take k urself if i not beside u, ok?
don 4get take super gud care of ur ankle ah, i knw it wil very pain de lo~
without me, u must very suffer rite?
after back kk, let me man man syak u lo. PROMISE U

i suddenly heard 1 song... inside the lyric seems telling about my story
after listen will feel my heart comfort a bit like that

心墙 郭静

一个人眺望碧海和蓝天
在心里面那抹灰就淡一些
海豚从眼前飞越
我看见了最阳光的笑脸
好时光都该被宝贝因为有限

我学着不去担心得太远
不计画太多反而能勇敢冒险
丰富地过每一天快乐地看每一天
第一次遇见阴天遮住你侧脸
有什么故事好想了解
我感觉我懂你的特别

你的心有一道墙
但我发现一扇窗
偶尔透出一丝暖暖的微光
就算你有一道墙
我的爱会攀上窗台盛放
打开窗你会看到悲伤融化
你会闻到幸福晴朗的芬芳