smile always

today, chat wif my dear, knw he is facing some problem wif his frens~
well... although i also going through the same problem, but,
dont knw why my heart is feeling more annoyed..
Is because he feel ANGRY n SAD just because of the case ma?
haiz... i always tell myself that become a human is not as easy task~
i had left my hometown n pursue my DREAM as a teacher at this maktab GAYA...
but... since there are many unexpected condition happened to me,
i had few times decided to quit in this career.
am i stupid? weak?
i, myself even dont know how 2 handle my problem.
like a ostrich, juz wil know run away from the reality n don wan 2 face it.
hahaha, funny right? as a teacher should knw face the problem n try 2 overcome it. but me? NO

i feel sorry to u, coz... myself even dont know how to solve my ownself problem
so, when u told me about the argument between u n ur frens,
what i can do is silent listen to u, n try 2 make u smile only~
i feel myself useless, then u told me that u dont wan me think that way
sorry... i juz.. very sorry
hope u can smile for me...
my heart wil happy juz bcoz of u happy
if u angry or sad, i wil follow too

days are getting harder n harder
stil left 4 days i will bak to kk again
happy or sad?
i don know
days for me to do scanning are getting shorter
i tell myself no nid to worry
but... after a moment then wil start panic bcoz of that
haiz~ hope myself wil reli nothing
i hope what the doctor told me that day was juz a dream
after woke up, then everything is fine
GOD BLESS ME